Labelphobia

Hi, everyone. My name is Lady and I'm a labelphobe.

It started at a pretty young age, actually. You see, I was a victim. My earliest memory is probably the first grade. My mom had just gotten me these fly, new black Reeboks, and everyone was just jealous. Seriously. Even the upper class girls took a moment to call me a boy. I'm pretty sure that's where it all began. Hmmm... Maybe it began in Pre-K. I was digging this cute girl named Rachel. She was latina. I never got the courage to talk to her. It was suspect, I admit... But back to the Reeboks. From then on I didn't want anything to do with what everyone else liked. That really started to manifest in the second grade. Pogs? Fuck pogs. It didn't help that one girl was passing around her chapstick to all the other girls in my class and when I asked if I could have some, she told me to lick my lips... It also didn't help I was the only black girl... that made it hard to determine the real issue. This only further fortified my disdain for the mainstream... and blonds.

By the sixth grade I was a full-blown pariah (Note: to get to this point, I had survived two years of all girl schooling and came out the other side, thankfully, alive). One girl made my awkward disposition painfully clear (yes, I remember her name. She, too, was blond). And I didn't escape her until the 10th grade when I switched schools again. Unfortunately, this wasn't before she made fun of my hairbrush in the gym restroom. The shame of my black beauty products stuck around for a good several years after that. Regardless, I'm farely sure that elementary and middle school served as catalysts to my growing a spine.


Me and my ponytail of 21 years


Thankfully, by late high school pariah's of my nature were cool. And I was able to make friends with the artsy kids... Then college came along and suddenly I was gay (and I mean suddenly). Damn. But as it turned out it's only fitting that I'm a lesbian. Right? I mean, I'm a labelphobe with a finicky distaste for the mainstream. Yeah. Then I delved into the lesbian scene only to find a system of labels never before witnessed by straight mankind. And, ironically, it was the easiest time of my life for me to be me... Lady was simply Lady at that point. Or maybe it's just one of those labels that I'm happy to accept...